Expedit - Update!

The latest photo of the Expedit unit, still not quite finished being filled LOL, there is one space left (at the moment). I need to live with this and decide what (if any) extra storage boxes I need. I have also sorted stuff as I've gone and I've donated loads of craft items to my local pre-school, there is so much more space in the fitted wardrobe now, the roll-away bed fits in there comfortably and all the bedding.

NaBloPoMo - 30th November

What did you learn from doing NaBloPoMo? - I learnt that I like routine, that I like blogging everyday, I didn't like some of the prompts, found some of the prompts difficult for personal reasons and loved some of the prompts - I managed to complete every prompt, some posts were longer than others - but I FINISHED!

IKEA Delivery!

Today the IKEA delivery scheduled for between 5-9pm arrived at 3:30pm, which meant that DH managed to get the unit assembled by 6:15pm, pictures below show assemblage LOL!

 Completed empty unit looked like this

So after a quick tea, I decided to start filling it!

Part filled unit looks like this, let's say it's a work in progress LOL!

NaBloPoMo - 29th November

What's the last thing you do before bed? - Check my humidifier reservoir is full for my CPAP, check email for messages & FB for posts!

MME - Poor Customer Relations!

I love My Mind's Eye papers - not so sure I will be buying them again after hearing this tale though! Can you spot the spelling mistake - a friend did and she wrote to let MME know, the response she got was less than acceptable

This is her email: -

Hi
I have recently purchased the attached scrapbooking pack from my local Hobby craft and have noticed that December has been spelt wrong on one of the accessories, and even on the promotional leaflet inside the pack.
I am going to take the matter up with Hobby craft, I suspect they will just offer me a refund, however as the error did not become apparent until I had already completed my layout, this has spoiled 12X12 papers etc and wasted my time.
I have randomly checked various websites for scrapbook stockists and ebay and they are all showing the image with the incorrect spelling so I thought that I should bring this matter to your attention as it is even showing on your own website. I’m sure you’ll appreciate that the impact is huge for yourselves.
I hope that this information has been of some assistance, I assume that you were unaware of the situation otherwise this would not be shown on your website
Regards
A***

Response from MME: -

Thank you. we have been aware and will not fix it.

Jason Merrill
My Mind's Eye

Well that's it in a nut shell, very poor customer response don't you think, impersonal, short, poor grammar and no hint of helpfulness. I can only say it as I see it!

Postie Time!

So another small package from Art From The Heart today - had to snap up some lovely stamps on sale and some new black pens in all sizes and I think I'm starting a collection of those sweet little hearts, might try to use them on a Xmas tree somewhere. I love the care and attention AFTH take with their orders. Still one more Mica Spray to come and hopefully the gold one will be in stock soon!

Help?

My darling youngest grandson is helping me with my online Christmas shopping at the moment - well I say helping in the broadest sense, I'm trying to keep him occupied with drawing pictures, he asked me to take a photo of him reading his newspaper!

NaBloPoMo - 28th November

Describe an heirloom that has been passed down through generations of your family. What is it's significance for you personally? - I possess what used to be a pair of single carat diamond earings, that were my grandmother's, They were passed to my mother - I wore them at my first wedding (ended in divorce!) and a few years later she passed them to me as she never wore them. I loved the earings but I like big chunky jewellery so when my DH bought me a 5 carat yellow sapphire for our 5th Wedding Anniversary I decide to have the earings and stone made into a ring. I love the ring and wear it all the time - it will pass to my daughter, as she has no daughters it will probably go to the eldest grandson's wife. The story behind the diamond earings was that my grandmother scrimped and saved for these secondhand diamond earings 40 years ago, they cost £250 then from a very posh jewellery shop in Lichfield (long since closed) and rumour has it my poor grandfather was fed scrag end of lamb for a long time!

52Q, Week 48 - What have you been doing over and over this week?

Same old, same old!

Gallery Order For More Mixed Media Canvases

One of the 3 local galleries that take my pictures to sell, needs more stock in time for Christmas!

So - here's 3 mini ones I've done!

+ the prize for the winner of the 1,000th blog post draw - hope you like it Jackie! (PS. if you'd prefer one of the other ones above let me know LOL!)

The Postie Called (Again!)

I love my postie, he'll be getting a good Christmas Bonus this year LOL! Today he delivered orders from Country View Crafts, Crafters Cove and of course Art from the Heart, (still not another one to come from AFTH + a missing item to be included) so what lovelies did I get today?

In my beautifully presented package (thank you Ali!), there was a couple of  Mica sprays from the Dylusions range & 2 Crafters Workshop Templates

 

 From Country View Crafts - 2 That Special Touch Templates

Finally from Crafters Cove - replacement blades & cutting channels for my Woodware Timmer, a few sponge daubers that I'm sure will be so useful and some metallic Stazon Ink Pads!

And the Winner Is!

So the prize draw is closed. 17 more posts from me, 5 extra followers, 418 views & 47 comments later - I have a winner!

Using Random Generator 1-20 (someone posted twice LOL!) the number that came up is 1 - so congratulations Jackie Humphreys (I apologise for poor quality of photo, but I couldn't get a screen grab so I had to take a photo!)

Jackie wrote

"Hello Pippa, Just read through the list of things you have dealt with and achieved over the 4 years of blogging. You are one of the first people I came across whilst I began to "blog hop" and I loved the idea that you class yourself as an artist....you are and a wonderful one at that!

I started my art work back in march of this year and have struggled through and don't really class myself as an artist but hopefully one day I will. I had planned to go to college to do my art foundation year in the look to do a fast track into teaching afterwards. I was diagnosed with a deep vein thrombosis in Aug, a week before a holiday of a lifetime in celebration of my 25th wedding anniversary. Everything came to a halt and the holiday had to be cancelled. My life changed over night, constant visits to hospital and GPs, blood test every day. My anniversary went by with more test and me in agony due to injections in my tummy. I am not 3 months on from it all, still struggling through and off to the blood specialist this afternoon, so I hope and pray no more bad news for me.

My art gets me through each day and reading stories like yours does too. We all go through life and things are thrown at us so many times, but we pick ourselves up and get on with it. I have found such wonderful friends through my crafts and FB too. I wish you so many best wishes and so happy for you to have posted 1000 blog post...well done.x We may never meet Pippa, but please know you have been an inspiration to and hopefully to many more too. xx"

NaBloPoMo - 25th November

Do you like to buy presents ahead of time or right when you need to give them? - Sorry to be a bore but again a bit of both, I buy presents when I see them most of the time, especially in the sales. Sometimes the right present doesn't present itself until I really start looking. I hate having to shop for a specific person's present at short notice and I don't like crowds.

A Closer Look

A closer look at the filled shelves, well one of the doubles and the triple one

 

UPS Called Today!

Oh my - the UPS guy called today with not ONE but TWO packages from Craft Racks UK, I've now got 2 double and 1 triple Ink Pad Storage Racks on my desk worktop. Packages arrived very securely and properly packed to avoid any damage - thankfully it's bin day tomorrow, so we can have a clear out! These racks are amazing for anyone like me who loves Tim Holtz and all his products and has to have everything in every colour! There are other designs, take a look!

Not only have I got all my TH stuff on there (Alcohol Inks, Distress Ink Pads, Distress Stickles & Distress Stains) but all the amazing Dylusions paints and sprays, Stazon Ink pads, coloured inks & acrylic paints.

Before - Empty!

After - Full!

The great thing is all the shelves are moveable and removeable, so you can play to your hearts content, moving stuff here, there and everywhere and when you want a change - no problem! See that space at the end of my worktop, that's where my new 25 box Expedit Bookcase will be going into after it's delivered on Tuesday next week, just think 21 12"x12" cubes to fill (I have to lose 4 cubes because of the work unit, but hey I have a smaller Expedit unit on the other side of the desk, so there will be 4 more cubes there (again losing 4 cubes to work unit!) I can't wait to start filling them next Wednesday, it's taken me ages to sort out this lot today, but after a grotty morning the afternoon has been brilliant.

Sorry about the quality of photos, it was so dark, the before photo was taken this afternoon at 1:45pm with 3 lights on, I will try to post more detailed better quality photos tomorrow.

NaBloPoMo - 24th November

Do you enjoy being alone? Would you rather be around other people? - To be honest the answer is probably a bit of both. I love "me" time when I'm arting or blogging or cooking, then I'm absorbed in my own little world, sometimes listening to music, sometimes not. But then I find I need company to talk to when I'm eating or watching the breakfast news, when I wake up. I have travelled on my own, but like company the other end if you know what I mean. I make friends easily so that's not usually a problem. 

My DH goes on motorbike holidays approx 2-3 times a year (I could go with him, but a knee injury prevents me!), so I get periods of 5-11 days without him, I usually try to get my mate Maggie to come stay for some of the time, but that's not always possible, when she does we spend time crafting, drinking, eating and generally putting the world to rights. Last time DH went away, she couldn't get the time off and I really noticed the difference - I like having someone to care for, to talk to, to be with. So a creature of two halves I suppose like most of the population.

The Postman Called (Again)!

Not only did my lovely postman bring my new passport, (which means I can and did apply for my ESTA for my USA visit next year!) but he also bought an order from "Art From The Heart" as usual beautifully packaged. Inside some luscious Dylusions Mica Spray Inks (8 of them), a Posca white pen (fine) and 4 Crafters Workshp Templates, what more could a girl want? Well now you mention it - some more templates and 3 more lush Mica Sprays!

Little Birdie Flies to Canada

This little birdie is on it's way to the USA make that Canada LOL!, ordered, completed and posted in less than a week, I'm on a roll, any other orders for Christmas LOL!

NaBloPoMo - 23rd November

Write about a piece of music that changed your life for ever. What do you feel when you hear it now? - I loved Barber's Adagio for Strings; I heard it the first time at a concert at Birmingham Town Hall in the late 1980's. I know Simon Rattle was the conductor and I assume that it was the CBSO (City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra) that was playing. I had never been to a concert before, my then boyfriend, (now husband) took me and I loved the whole experience. The piece of music moved me to tears and I sat sobbing all the way through, in fact as I listen now, I'm crying as I type. 

The music is so emotionally evocative - The Adagio was broadcast over the radio at the announcement of Franklin D. Roosevelt's death. It was also played at the funeral of Albert Einstein and at the funeral of Princess Grace of Monaco. It was performed in 2001 at Last Night of the Proms in the Royal Albert Hall to commemorate the victims of the September 11 attacks, replacing the traditional upbeat patriotic songs. It will be played at my funeral, it is written in my will!

On a happier note the people will leave my funeral to a funkier version by William Orbit, hope it makes them smile!

NaBloPoMo - 22nd November

What was the luckiest thing that ever happened to you and why? - Without a doubt, meeting my husband just over 25 years ago. Quite by accident at a divorced and separated club that met locally. He had been on his own for a while, as his wife had left suddenly taking their only child with her and she had relocated some 30 miles away. I was at a very low time in my life, divorced with a daughter and just turned 30. We clicked instantly, went out on a date 12/10/86 and married 12/10/91, times were tough (financially for both of us) but we struggled through to the good times and there have been many! We now have 4 amazing grandsons, and a daughter in law and son in law that continue to enrich our grown up kid's lives and they are all amazing parents to their kids. Why was I so lucky? Who knows, right place, right time, we discovered that his father had operated on two of my fathers family, that we had the same front door key, that he had looked at buying my parents house at one time and that he had already met my father in business a few years before. Fate, luck, call it what you will a lucky thing whatever!!!!

Popjes on Fabric

I found some pretty butterfly fabric, cut it to 10"x12" and then stretched it over some very stiff cardboard - securing it with masking tape. 

Then with a waterproof pen, drew my girls face and dress (you can just see the outline in black)

 Used acrylic paint to fill in face & dress!

 Stamped butterfly and flower background on dress, gold promarker pen highlights on dress, Faber Castell Big Brush pens used to accent & shade and acrylic paint and BB pens for hair - I think she's finished!

NaBloPoMo - 21st November

Are you pursuing a "Passion Project"? - My passion project at the moment is learning to sketch/draw/paint Popjes like the amazing Manon, her work is so gorgeous, she inspires others and is so free with her teaching. Another artist has also been inspired to have a go - Darcy from "Art and Sole" has completed loads, pop over for a look on her blog.

My attempt of a popjes of me is quite cute I think!

52Q, Week 47 - A Childhood Memory?

As a child I loved carousels, in fact I still love them, my earliest "nice" memory is of a carousel ride at a local fairground, I must have been about 5 years old. I have an earlier memory but it's not a good one, I was probably about 14months old and a cat sat on me whilst I was sleeping! My mum never left me without a cat net on the pram after that. Thank goodness it didn't make me scared of cats, in fact I love them and have two gorgeous tearaway hooligans called Felix & Oscar.

Pippa as a Popjes

I've got short grey hair, I wear glasses all the time, I have grey/green eyes, I love big colourful earings, I adore hearts in all things, one of my favourite colours is turquoise - this is me! Thank you Manon for introducing me to these cuties!

After a message from a dear friend, I made a few adjustments, looks more funky now, just like me LOL! (Thanks Nancy!)

Encaustic Art Photo and Bucket List!

I was talking to Nancy on SKYPE last night and we are putting together a bucket list of what we hope to do/see etc when I'm over in Oregon next June for 3 whole weeks.

I also told her about an encasutic art picture I did, I said I would post a photo - and here it is!

So on the bucket list so far, we've got as possibles: -

• An art class?
• A trip to Portland (maybe tied in with an art class/retreat etc)
• An Encaustic art course?
• Loads of trips to craft stores - a girl has to have things!
• Lots of visits to  "Ross - Dress for Less" - they so cater for women of my size at very reasonable prices!
• A Brave Girls get together!
• A visit with some very dear old friends from California?
• Whale watching?
• Seattle?
• Egg carving (not sure if it's called something else!)

Anything else Nancy? Yes, lots more says Nancy!(see below)

* Crater Lake National Park
* San Juan Islands
* Hovercraft River trip

Popjes (Dolls)

Having watched both videos of Manon and her popjes, which she has informed me are dolls I want to do some more. I'm going to copy Manon's idea and do a series of popjes to illustrate various aspects of ME, I reckon that will be at least 3, so watch this space. I've started to draw the first one, I'm going to use promarkers for this series (well at least I'll start with Promarkers and see how I get on LOL!).

Drawing Popjes Girls

I found a great artist to follow via Jeanette House (via the Wild Precious Studio), called Manon Visser who draws the most amazing girls (she sells her art here). I have no idea where the POPJES comes from but I have watched one amazing video and she's scheduled another class for tonight at 9pm (UK time). I have had a go at doing a couple of girls, just used basic A4 printer paper, nothing special, gelatos on one girl and Big Brush pens on the other. This has inspired me to try other styles on proper paper or canvas, so watch this space!

Latest Face - Latest IYKWIM!

Yesterday's face needed some work on it when I lookad at in in the cold light of day, the folowing 3 pictures, show the process

 Added white highlight to pupils

 Black pen to outline & define shape.

Added rub-ons and doodles.

Latest Face

A study in purple! Acrylic on canvas, with stamped background & accents.

NaBloPoMo - 18th November

What has been the happiest moment of your life thus far? - I could not possibly pick just one single moment, so in true avoidance mode I wil list ALL the happiest moments in my life and give thanks for them all.

In some particular order LOL!

• Birth of my daughter (1979)
• Graduating with my B.Ed (1983)
• Meeting my husband (1986)
• My 2nd wedding day (1991)
• Getting a dream job as a Health Promotion Officer in Local Government (1994)
• Being made a Director of my Professional National Organisation & Charity (I later became National Secretary!) (1996)
• My daughter's wedding day (2006)
• Birth of each of my 3 grandsons (2007 & 2009)
• Enrolling in Soul Restoration 1 and becoming part of a Brave Girl community (2011)
• Realising I was an Artist!

I certainly hope they don't ask for unhappiest moments in my life, I'm sad to say the list would probably be so much longer!

1,000th Post! + Win A Canvas or Doodled Birdie from Pippa's Pieces!

So I've finally made my 1,000th blog post - I feel such a great sense of achievement and pride. My thanks to all my amazing blog followers and to those that have left some amazing comments over the last 4 years (1,175 to be exact!)! I have truly appreciated your support and kind words!

Way back in December 2007, I never thought that I'd still be blogging 4 years later. I did not know how much my life would change in those four years, all the things that have happened to me to make my life so different!

• Struggling with a job I hated and a horrible work place situation, which I finally left in May '08 amidst great turmoil.
• Looking after grandson #1 for a day a week whilst his mum returned to work.
• Becoming a supply teacher and working part time for a maternity cover in an amazing school (I'd have jumped at a job offer there!)
• Being out of work and penniless for 18 months (thank goodness for the support of an amazing husband)!
• Grandson #2's birth - a joyous occasion! 
• Giving up my game playing addiction on FB! (I lost so much of my life playing the many Zynga games based on FB!!!)
• Finally visiting the Doctor for a complete health overhaul!
• Being diagnosed with severe OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnoea), so bad that I was unable to drive until I was CPAP compliant for 4 weeks for the DVLA.
• Learning to live with OSA, and discovering that my CPAP was a life saver, that I no longer fell asleep at 9.30AM, or whenever I sat down in a comfy chair or watched TV, that I stopped getting up for frequent loo trips in the night, that I had MORE energy and that slept better and felt 100% better!
• Finally admitting I was a binge eater, that I had major issues around food, accepting I was morbidly obese, and being offered 12 weekly sessions in a group with women who had the same issues, with the support of a Dietitian and a Psychologist.
• Looking after both grandsons twice a week whilst their mum returned to College to take further qualifications in order to gain a better job.
• Becoming a "Brave Girl" in January 2011, completing Soul Restoration 1, discovering myself and healing from within.
• Becoming part of a great community of "Brave Girls" that supported each other
• Working in the Mixed Media Art arena, meeting some amazing friends, joining some amazing art forums.
• Discovering I was an artist, that I could express myself through my art, that I had a gift and that my work was appreciated by others.
• Changing the spare bedroom into a designated "Craft Room" - so I can leave projects out and just shut the door on the whole mess!
• Starting a business - Pippa's Pieces and registering with the Tax Office as an "ARTIST"
• Completing some amazing online courses, challenges and classes: - "In The Sun", "Summer Boot Camp",  "Summer of Colour" "She Art", "She Had 3 Hearts", "MIMM", "Feel", "Index Card A Day",  Creative Summer Camp and 30 Days of Lists.
• Looking after my grandson's for 2 days a week whilst their mum works full time!
• Volunteering as a Food Teacher at my grandson's Primary School for a few weeks each term.
• Meeting a fellow artist Bernice, who is so talented, kind and hospitable and who I get to do mini art retreats with on a regular basis. 
• Going to Scrap-A-Mia 2011 and winning an amazing art class from Dina Wakley called "Graffiti Of My Life"
• Going to some amazing scrapbook classes with some great teachers, Dina Wakley, Emma Trout & Michelle Jackson Mogford, Tracie Hudson, Sandie Vincent, and Annaliese Bates
• Enrolling in Life Book 2012 with the amazing Tamara Laporte of Willowing fame
• Booking a SOLO trip to the USA (Oregon) for May/June 2012 for 3 whole weeks and getting to spend time with an amazing "Brave Girl" - Nancy and whoever else manages to get to Oregon at the same time!
• Working on some amazing online courses, challenges and classes: - "Gut Art", "Mixed Media Art Journal Bootcamp", "Onward & Upward", 52 Questions and NaBloPoMo.
• Spending time with Maggie whenever her work schedule permits.

So in order to be entered into the prize draw for either an original canvas or a framed doodled birdie by yours truly: -

1. Leave me a comment telling me what big change has happened in your life in the last year (good or bad!) and how you've coped with it!
2. Become a follower, subscriber etc. (if you're not already!)
3. Make sure you include your email address (leave out the "@" and write "at" instead, then no search bots will find your address, but I can contact you if you're a winner.

Prize draw will close on Friday 25th November at 5pm (GMT), winner will be chosen by random generator and posted here Saturday 26th November - I'm looking forward to reading all your stories. xx

NaBloPoMo - 17th November

Make a list of everyone you've ever had a crush on in your life, then choose one from the list and describe him or her in great detail -

Boy in my class @ Primary school
Boy at King Edward's Grammar School (I was at the female equivalent!)
Steve McQueen
Numerous unamed people, who shall remain unamed to protect the innocent LOL!

So Steve McQueen, "the King of Cool"! What can I say? The crush of my teenage years (and probably a few years later tbh!). He had that bad boy image, reformed but with still a hint of "badness"! An ex Marine who saved lives during service, I so love men in uniform! Blonde hair, blue eyes - yummy. 

I so hated it when he married Ali McGraw in 1973 and was delighted when they split up in 1978. 

I loved his films - The Thomas Crown Affair, The Great Escape, The Magnificent Seven, The Towering Inferno, Papillon, Bullitt and The Getaway. It was sad day when he died 7/11/1980, an end of a dream for me.I knew it could never be for him & I, but a girl can always hope - YES?

Freeing Your Wings - Christmas ATC Swap

I've just finished 5 ATC's - the first I've done for a long time, (over a year at least!), the theme is Angels. I've done 5 so I can keep 1 and send 4 off to Angela, who is hosting the swap. I'm really excited to see the 4 that I get back, I believe the people taking part are scattered all over the world, so it would be great to get some international ones back. I used 140lb watercolour paper as my base, used spray inks & masks for patterned background, stamped tissue paper, stamped background accents, silver skeleton leaves & collaged angels with tiny lace flowers with a bling centre.

My New Pippa's Pieces Page on Facebook

I'm fast approaching my 1,000th blog post so I decided to go really public on Facebook, hence this post, I don't often promote my business online (small logo with link to my shop on my blog, that's it) so please indulge me with this post as I'm really proud of what I've done in less than a year.

NaBloPoMo - 16th November

What is the moment you leave childhood and enter adulthood? - Tricky one this, is it when you realise the truth about Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy? Is it when "girls" become women? Is it when you're allowed to do something on your own for the first time? When an aunt or uncle lets you call them by their first name? When you lose your innocence or it is taken? When you're left "home alone!" for the first time. When you lose a parent? All thought provoking question for sure!
I'm not sure I can define the exact moment I entered adulthood, true adulthood - it was probably when I left home at the tender age of 18 to escape an unhappy existence and follow what I thought was my heart's desire - the freedom to love who I wanted. In reality I exchanged one unhappy existence for another, just as abusive.  My stubbornness and inability to admit my mistake (although I could never have returned home for many reasons) ensured I had 4 years of hell, the one saving grace being the birth of my daughter after which I came to my senses and removed myself and her from the situation. Suffice to say we not only survived, we blossomed, she has grown into a beautiful woman and has two gorgeous boys; and me, well I met an amazing man who has been my rock and we are still together 25 years later.

Music With Mummy (or Nana in my case!)

Youngest grandson with his drum, he loves making noise! We go to sessions every Tuesday morning and I'm glad to say I'm not the only Nana there, which is comforting!

NaBloPoMo - 15th November

Describe a favourite place, focus on how that place affects your sense of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. - My favourite place would be anywhere by the sea/ocean, views over the deep blue water, a clear sky, the sound of the waves lapping, the feel of soft white sand running through my fingers and under my feet, the smell of the ozone, the slight taste of salt in the air.

USA Trip 2012 Update!

OK, so for this super mega 3 WEEK trip to Oregon next year - my flights are booked & confirmed, my seats chosen & reserved on both airlines (always visit  seatguru.com, to check what seats are the best or avoid the worst on your particular flight!), I've enrolled in both frequent flyer programmes (British Airways & Alaska Air), airport lounges are sorted for Seattle & Heathrow (through priority Pass), my hotel is booked for late arrival on my first night, I've found travel insurance to cover me for 3 weeks in the USA with my pre-existing conditions (boy was that an arm & a leg!), I've checked on voltage change for iPad, iPhone & CPAP, my passport has been sent for renewal so I can complete airline security checks and apply for my ESTA, darling Nancy has sorted a special memory pillow out for me so I don't have to travel with my heavy Tempur pillow as I'm only allowed 23kg luggage allowance (unless I pay more, which I may choose to do on the return trip.
Thankfully my CPAP counts as medical so is allowed as extra, although I won't be travelling with much more as there's only muggins to carry everything LOL! 

Anything I've forgotten? 

You think I was travelling tomorrow, not in 28 weeks time ROFLMAO, can you tell I'm excited?????

52Q, Week 46 - What Makes You Glow?

I love baking! I love sharing food!

NaBloPoMo - 14th November

Have you faced fears and overcome them? - I have faced my fears, and it was scary for sure, finally doing something I had put off for many years!  Have I overcome my fears? Well YES and No, the act of finally doing something I had needed to do resulted in major life changing issues, which in turn led to interventions of a medical nature! I am in the process of dealing with them in the way I know best, rationally, informed and at my own pace.